Seriously serious

To begin, a short thought about the whole idea of blogging...

Okay, bloggers who update their blogs daily or thereabout are seriously serious. Today I thought to myself, oh I just posted the other day and wonder if anyone has commented? Well, looking at the date, I realize it's been 9 days already since my last post. Seriously? I must not be that serious.

In any case, I continue to enjoy writing about my life with God. The thing about seminary is...I learn the language to speak about God (or to speak about that which is so utterly other that human language cannot attempt to solidify with words)...but unless I speak about the God moments in my own life, God will remain an abstract reality. So here I am, attempting to put words to the movements of God in my everyday life. To be honest, many of us 'theologians' struggle with this endeavor more than seminary papers...here's to keeping it real....God style.

I have been in good prayer lately. My life of prayer (which is the best way to remain in contact with that which is so utterly other... :) seems to ebb and flow according to unexplainable forces. My primary mode of prayer is journaling. It is a highly intimate reflection of my deepest yearnings, and even that practice seems to ebb and flow. After a good journal entry (which often leads to further impromptu prayer) I think to myself "Yes! I shall write everyday for the rest of my life!" And then life happens. I get distracted by a new husband, by the swirling thoughts of the following day, by the dizzyness which accompanies fatigue, by the thought of my head hitting the pillow...

And in the ebb and flow, I am reminded that Jesus called Christians into community for a purpose. At church we can pray together as a community and worship the one true God. With my group of prayer girls, we can share our burdens and joys- counting on one of us to initiate the meaningful prayer for which I long. With my husband, I can prayerfully imagine a future full of serving God and serving neighbor. With my seminary friends, I can pray with the understanding that theological differences melt away in the presence of an all powerful God.

And the structure of community leads me back to my moments of peaceful journaling. Such intimate moments inevitably lead me to thank God for the wonderful communities throughout my life that have sustained my faith, my belief in the power of prayer, and my understanding that God never leaves us. Our interest in deepening that relationship might ebb and flow, but God's presence never does. And in light of that faithfulness, I am prompted to say, "Thank God!"

Because seriously, who would I be if God wasn't faithful? Probably a miserable seminarian wondering what the heck I'm studying anyway. :)

Pay attention to the movements of God in your life- and remember that God's presence never leaves you...it's our motivation that ebbs and flows.

Loving you and loving God!

Em