Thanks for Everything...

Here in Princeton my life often becomes a swirl of "to-dos." It's the student life, I suppose, yet somehow I know we all need space to reflect beyond our daily tasks to the greater picture of our lives. Thanksgiving seems to be a great time for such things. I have been trying to do exactly that this week, as I work on another 10 page paper and anticipate the other three 15 page papers yet to appear before Dec 18 (at noon, to be precise). Yes, I have so much left this semester that I often get sucked into thinking only about my STUDENT LIFE.

And then my husband lures me away from the temptation to become extremely self-absorbed. If I had one complaint about being a student, it would be my continuous propensity to think only about myself. And my husband is really good at reminding me my papers will not solve world problems- nor will they matter in the long run....or even short run, really. My papers are an important part of my synthesis of information here, but the synthesis of learning occurs the entire time I'm a student, and papers just happen to be needed to determine grades. Yuck.

So after all my admissions about how busy I am and will be- I have to stop and say....Wow! Thanks for Everything! Thanks to God for continually guiding me and walking alongside as I ponder the mysteries of faith. Thanks to my husband for bringing endless joy into my silly student life. Thanks to all my family for sharing their lives with me and providing a solid foundation. Thanks to all my friends for truly caring about my well-being- (and also luring me away from my self-centered corner). Thanks to all my church family for providing space for me to be involved in creating change outside the walls of the church. Thanks to myself, for learning to appreciate little accomplishments and take minor defeats in stride. Thanks to a husband who just went to the grocery store so we could make breakfast together this morning....ah I could continue on and on...

Speaking of Thanksgiving. I celebrated all day Thursday with a couple friend of ours in addition to another couple friend we only met that day! It was great- and extended into the evening playing games (Rummikub...awesome!) and enjoying our time with old friends and new friends...we provided a mean spread for the table, I must say!

I don't have too much more to update. Of course I do, but right now all I can think about is making pancakes and eggs, working on my paper, and walking a friend's dogs this afternoon. I have a friend who is celebrating her birthday today as well- so it'll be a great day I'm sure.... even if I possibly need to resort to my self-centered corner to write a few more pages on my paper.

I am waiting to receive photos from our time at Thanksgiving, so when I do- I might even post them! :)

Love you all, whoever you are. Take a moment to be thankful in your own life. It makes all the difference.

Em

Seriously serious

To begin, a short thought about the whole idea of blogging...

Okay, bloggers who update their blogs daily or thereabout are seriously serious. Today I thought to myself, oh I just posted the other day and wonder if anyone has commented? Well, looking at the date, I realize it's been 9 days already since my last post. Seriously? I must not be that serious.

In any case, I continue to enjoy writing about my life with God. The thing about seminary is...I learn the language to speak about God (or to speak about that which is so utterly other that human language cannot attempt to solidify with words)...but unless I speak about the God moments in my own life, God will remain an abstract reality. So here I am, attempting to put words to the movements of God in my everyday life. To be honest, many of us 'theologians' struggle with this endeavor more than seminary papers...here's to keeping it real....God style.

I have been in good prayer lately. My life of prayer (which is the best way to remain in contact with that which is so utterly other... :) seems to ebb and flow according to unexplainable forces. My primary mode of prayer is journaling. It is a highly intimate reflection of my deepest yearnings, and even that practice seems to ebb and flow. After a good journal entry (which often leads to further impromptu prayer) I think to myself "Yes! I shall write everyday for the rest of my life!" And then life happens. I get distracted by a new husband, by the swirling thoughts of the following day, by the dizzyness which accompanies fatigue, by the thought of my head hitting the pillow...

And in the ebb and flow, I am reminded that Jesus called Christians into community for a purpose. At church we can pray together as a community and worship the one true God. With my group of prayer girls, we can share our burdens and joys- counting on one of us to initiate the meaningful prayer for which I long. With my husband, I can prayerfully imagine a future full of serving God and serving neighbor. With my seminary friends, I can pray with the understanding that theological differences melt away in the presence of an all powerful God.

And the structure of community leads me back to my moments of peaceful journaling. Such intimate moments inevitably lead me to thank God for the wonderful communities throughout my life that have sustained my faith, my belief in the power of prayer, and my understanding that God never leaves us. Our interest in deepening that relationship might ebb and flow, but God's presence never does. And in light of that faithfulness, I am prompted to say, "Thank God!"

Because seriously, who would I be if God wasn't faithful? Probably a miserable seminarian wondering what the heck I'm studying anyway. :)

Pay attention to the movements of God in your life- and remember that God's presence never leaves you...it's our motivation that ebbs and flows.

Loving you and loving God!

Em

Hello From the IYM Conference...

First of all, don't get overly excited. I haven't actually "gone" to a conference. Indeed, I am a part of administering the conference taking place here on campus!

If you hear me speak of working for IYM (Institute for Youth Ministry), this is one of the conferences we work toward all year. I am sitting at the "central command" station on campus, where we reside in case anyone needs our help or direction. Yesterday was crazy busy getting everything set up and everyone registered...but today it is a bit calmer, so I have to chance to finally update my blog.

Last week was our "reading week," which translated into "writing week" for me. I had 2- 10 page papers due at the end of last week, and although I worked really hard, I was still barely done in time. Plus I was working extra to gear up for this present conference, and I went to the hospital as usual. On top of everything, I lost 5 pages of work because of my negligent "saving" practices. One might assume I would learn from my failings in undergrad. However, I guess I was so eager to write my paper about the Native American novel we had been reading, that I neglected to double-check my saving. Oh well, I rewrote it all (hopefully better the 2nd time) the next day, and began writing my medical ethics paper, which took me awhile, even without losing 5 pages of that work.

(two-day intermission, I got distracted at the conference)

So, I was geared up for a fresh start for our "2nd half" of this semester on Monday, only to contract an illness from which I have only today fully recovered. It's good to be myself again, but I must say, it wasn't quite the "fresh" start I had anticipated. I couldn't perform my responsibilities at the hospital (although I am going to Flemington tomorrow for a hospice memorial service). Also, I didn't go to my Monday evening medical ethics. Pretty amusing to miss a "medical ethics" class because you're sick, I guess. I did, however, work 25 hours this week, which isn't bad, considering I also attended my other classes, and somehow got the most reading done that I have ever before classes this week!

Now the forum is officially over, and I sense that people really enjoyed themselves. Of course so many people have random feedback, which we welcome. It all has to be taken with a grain of salt. Our jobs now will consist of organizing our lives once again and revamping for the next forum! On top of that, I plan to write another paper next week (this time I'm trying to work ahead). I figure I will have time since AJ is planning on leaving for two weeks to go back home and take care of random business. I will miss him. That's definitely the longest we will have been apart in our 5 months of marriage.

Speaking of 5 months, that seems like a long time for someone who still considers herself adjusting to the idea of mutual dependence. In case anyone is wondering how I enjoy or dislike married life... I love it. Really, I'm not just saying that because a new wife is suppose to. I'm saying that because it actually pleasantly surprises me when I compare my present attitude with that of 2 years ago (about the time AJ started calling me for the first time). What a remarkable difference 2 years (and a lot of God's grace) can make on my perception of life direction and happiness. It gives me endless joy to dream with AJ about our future- the way we want to eat well, raise children well, care about our neighbors well, envision a more just society, and altogether live full and meaningful lives dedicated to honoring God through our decisions. Who knew that growing into a marriage could be so enriching!

Okay, enough of the marriage talk. I have to say that seeking God here at Princeton has been particularly interesting this semester. I am beginning to sense that last year's more "basic" learning has helped me move toward more nuanced ways of understanding my own faith and the vast history of theologians, beginning from the writings of Paul. I can officially say that I now enjoy my Karl and Paul class. Karl Barth has stretched my understanding of the "freedom of God"- and further theological implications (many and layered, too dense to sort out here). Paul has emerged as a complicated and intriguing theologian throughout the book of Romans, and I am a bit intimidated about writing that final paper!

I don't have any new photos. Sorry. I know some wonderful ladies who include photos quite often in their blogs (and I am jealous of their diligence)...but that would require forethought, something I seem to be lacking lately.

Tomorrow we have a potluck at church, and then the memorial service I mentioned above. If AJ leaves tomorrow, I will have a quiet evening at home alone. If he doesn't, I will spend it with him. Monday my usual life will resume again. I have such anticipation for these last few weeks before Christmas break, probably because I found out that I have most of my classes cancelled during Thanksgiving!!! Woohooo! (I still have field ed, though, making travel difficult).

Okay, my fingers have lingered over the keys long enough. I shall wish you all the love of God in the less noticeable moments of simple peace and gratitude. And I send my love as well, for what it's worth. :)

Emily